And now for something completely different -- a journal entry!

Hello. :)

This is a very short post to say that yes, I am still alive. Mostly.

I really am truly sorry for not updating until now. My reasons have been entirely silly but quite important and impressive, in my head at least. I've spent the past 6 months in a state of perpetual gloom and self-loathing, and I didn't want to bog down anyone with my pointless wangst.

So, briefly, what have you missed? Not much. I lost nearly 50 pounds, got down to a size 10, and have now ballooned back up to a 14 (insert much futile whinging and self-hatred here). I got a second job and for a while worked 13-15 hour days which were driving me crazy (literally), but now am working so few hours at both jobs I might have to find a third. Hurrah. I was occasionally so fearful and depressed and utterly ashamed of myself I could not find the willpower to leave my tiny, dark apartment, and stayed at home crying for days, convinced I was not worthy enough even to see the best friend who loves me.

I started taking classes in Japanese, with the vague but hopefully more career oriented goal of being a translator sometime in the future. I spent many fun times with my dearest nut_m3g. I saw the most outstandingly brilliant, mind-blowingly orgasmic Muse concert, standing next to the stage, directly in front of Matthew Bellamy with his Guitarcrotch and Sexface. Guhhhhhhhhhhh.

And really? That's about it.

Oh, and there might be some other news. Good news. I hope. Hee. *blushes shyly and grins*
I'm saving that bit of joy for the next entry. :)

But anyway, I just wanted to say I'm here, and I missed you all very much. I can't wait to start doing this again. I'm no longer trapped in a cycle of suffering (for the moment, anyway), and even if I do feel depressed again, I know I should write it down and let it out, rather than let it consume me, alone and afraid.

Thank you so much for putting up with me. :) You're all amazing, have I told you that lately? ;-)