(no subject)
Nov. 22nd, 2002 11:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
neverwhereNovember has not been a good month. *sighs*
Today I was told that people think I 'only do well when I can be bothered to use some effort.' What the fuck?? I give more, do more, act more than just about anyone else, and I get told this?! What fucking BULLSHIT! ARRGHHHHH!!!!! Why the hell do I even bother offering up my soul for my art, when all I get is this in return. Why why why!
I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong -- okay, so I'm not as professional as I should be in rehearsal, I'm a giggly person and I'm very absent minded, I can't help the fact that I'm not 100% focused all the time, but I always try my best when I'm singing, and I never pull focus when it's other people's turn, I'm polite and friendly and genuinely care about everyone else. So why am I getting so dumped on all the damn time??
Just in the past week I've been told that my singing lacked so much emotion I sounded like I was reading the phone book, I'm too fat to ever get 'real' work, and it seems like I don't even care enough about the rehearsal process to put the tiniest amount of effort into my performance. Am just so shocked. I try so hard, and I get this crap thrown in my face. At least I didn't cry this time -- I could feel the tears in my eyes, but I would not let them show. Not this time.
I am just so sick of feeling useless.
Felt sick this morning when I read in the paper that another suicide bomber blew up a bus in Israel. A bus full of children. How on earth do they expect to get ANY sympathy when they do this kind of reprehensible act over and over again? They're CHILDREN for godsake, not soldiers or politicians, or anyone who might have anything to do Palestinian oppression. Just children on their way to school. There is absolutely NO excuse, no justification for what they did, and what they continue to do, and it makes my heart weep at the injustice of it all. How can we live in a world where some people find this acceptable?
Oh, and the firefighter's strike is back on, so people are going to lose their houses and their lives, because some politians and union leaders can't agree on how much money their workers should be paid. Pathetic.
It also means for the next week there's going to be absolute chaos on the Underground, as half the stations are going to be closed because they are fire hazards, and Tube workers will take the opportunity to strike themselves, even though they have even less reason not to work. Can't tell you how excited I am about all this. Whoopee. *growls*
Right. Change of mood now, because I can't stay upset forever. :)
In case you haven't noticed, Evil Willow is my new moody/bitchy/upset icon. I needed one, and I thought she would do nicely, and that Tori quote (hands up everyone who recognized it! *waves hand in the air* ;-) seemed to fit perfectly. I'll probably re-do it soon, because I made it in a bit of a rush -- for some reason PaintShop keeps crashing without even an error report popping up, it just closes itself and disappears, so I have to work quickly in order to do anything. Stupid thing. But I like the idea, and I definitely need more Tori quotes. *grins*
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mrs_puppethead! Guess what I saw today! I was walking through Euston station and saw an enormous poster of Eddie Izzard, wearing a long patchwork coat, silky black underwear and thigh high stockings, stiletto shoes and even a black lacy bra! MRRROOWWRRRR!!! *giggles* How is it that he can make being a transvestite look so heterosexually sexy? *lol*
I think it was advertising something, but I couldn't see what (sometimes adverts are in themes, and you don't find out what the product actually is until a few posters or commercials later), I'll try and find out for you. For us really. *grins*
I also found this brilliant quote from him in Time Out magazine that I keep forgetting to post:
(Talking about his latest stage show on DVD)
'When I say (as Jesus) "what does Mum think of this?", it was just after I'd come from New Zealand where they were filming Lord of the Rings. So I threw in Galadriel as Jesus's mum. I thought the idea of God being married to an Elfin queen was nicely fucked.'
Of course, I'm getting that DVD as soon as it's released. :)
I just noticed, I am swearing alot in this post. *grins sheepishly*
Hope no one is offended. ;-)
Which Watership Down Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Awwww! I'm so cute. *giggles* I absolutely love Watership Down, it's been one of my favourite films since I was about four years old. Of course the book is marvellous too, but it's the film I have the fondest memories of. In fact, I even have it on dvd now. *G* I've always liked Fiver best, but Pipkin's sweet too! I think this is just more proof I have an affinity with all things Pip-ish. ;-)
Hoo boy, this is a long post! *laughs*
Big squishy hugs to my darlingashfae because she needs them. I love you, you big sillyhead. *smoochonnanose* :))
Today I was told that people think I 'only do well when I can be bothered to use some effort.' What the fuck?? I give more, do more, act more than just about anyone else, and I get told this?! What fucking BULLSHIT! ARRGHHHHH!!!!! Why the hell do I even bother offering up my soul for my art, when all I get is this in return. Why why why!
I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong -- okay, so I'm not as professional as I should be in rehearsal, I'm a giggly person and I'm very absent minded, I can't help the fact that I'm not 100% focused all the time, but I always try my best when I'm singing, and I never pull focus when it's other people's turn, I'm polite and friendly and genuinely care about everyone else. So why am I getting so dumped on all the damn time??
Just in the past week I've been told that my singing lacked so much emotion I sounded like I was reading the phone book, I'm too fat to ever get 'real' work, and it seems like I don't even care enough about the rehearsal process to put the tiniest amount of effort into my performance. Am just so shocked. I try so hard, and I get this crap thrown in my face. At least I didn't cry this time -- I could feel the tears in my eyes, but I would not let them show. Not this time.
I am just so sick of feeling useless.
Felt sick this morning when I read in the paper that another suicide bomber blew up a bus in Israel. A bus full of children. How on earth do they expect to get ANY sympathy when they do this kind of reprehensible act over and over again? They're CHILDREN for godsake, not soldiers or politicians, or anyone who might have anything to do Palestinian oppression. Just children on their way to school. There is absolutely NO excuse, no justification for what they did, and what they continue to do, and it makes my heart weep at the injustice of it all. How can we live in a world where some people find this acceptable?
Oh, and the firefighter's strike is back on, so people are going to lose their houses and their lives, because some politians and union leaders can't agree on how much money their workers should be paid. Pathetic.
It also means for the next week there's going to be absolute chaos on the Underground, as half the stations are going to be closed because they are fire hazards, and Tube workers will take the opportunity to strike themselves, even though they have even less reason not to work. Can't tell you how excited I am about all this. Whoopee. *growls*
Right. Change of mood now, because I can't stay upset forever. :)
In case you haven't noticed, Evil Willow is my new moody/bitchy/upset icon. I needed one, and I thought she would do nicely, and that Tori quote (hands up everyone who recognized it! *waves hand in the air* ;-) seemed to fit perfectly. I'll probably re-do it soon, because I made it in a bit of a rush -- for some reason PaintShop keeps crashing without even an error report popping up, it just closes itself and disappears, so I have to work quickly in order to do anything. Stupid thing. But I like the idea, and I definitely need more Tori quotes. *grins*
mrs_puppethead! Guess what I saw today! I was walking through Euston station and saw an enormous poster of Eddie Izzard, wearing a long patchwork coat, silky black underwear and thigh high stockings, stiletto shoes and even a black lacy bra! MRRROOWWRRRR!!! *giggles* How is it that he can make being a transvestite look so heterosexually sexy? *lol* I think it was advertising something, but I couldn't see what (sometimes adverts are in themes, and you don't find out what the product actually is until a few posters or commercials later), I'll try and find out for you. For us really. *grins*
I also found this brilliant quote from him in Time Out magazine that I keep forgetting to post:
(Talking about his latest stage show on DVD)
'When I say (as Jesus) "what does Mum think of this?", it was just after I'd come from New Zealand where they were filming Lord of the Rings. So I threw in Galadriel as Jesus's mum. I thought the idea of God being married to an Elfin queen was nicely fucked.'
Of course, I'm getting that DVD as soon as it's released. :)
I just noticed, I am swearing alot in this post. *grins sheepishly*
Hope no one is offended. ;-)
Which Watership Down Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Awwww! I'm so cute. *giggles* I absolutely love Watership Down, it's been one of my favourite films since I was about four years old. Of course the book is marvellous too, but it's the film I have the fondest memories of. In fact, I even have it on dvd now. *G* I've always liked Fiver best, but Pipkin's sweet too! I think this is just more proof I have an affinity with all things Pip-ish. ;-)
Hoo boy, this is a long post! *laughs*
Big squishy hugs to my darling
ashfae because she needs them. I love you, you big sillyhead. *smoochonnanose* :))
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
*BIGSQUISHIEHUGGLES*
Date: 2002-11-22 03:44 pm (UTC)You are way better than that, and you put more emotion into everything than anyone i've ever met!! They must be aware of what they are doing to your confidence and self-esteem!! you should move here where all of your problems will disappear!! you could work in Stratford with people like Chris Plummer (when he's there) and I've heard that William Shatner has been there the last few seasons.. ;)
*hugs* feel better honey...
Re: *BIGSQUISHIEHUGGLES*
Date: 2002-11-22 03:49 pm (UTC)Shatner.
Wow.
To be allowed to work with him, or even be compared to his greatness would be an honour indeed.
*snortle*
Hehehe. You know I love you Karamonkey, and maybe someday I will act at Stratford. And if I am very lucky, I may even meet up with another Mr Collins...;-)
Re: *BIGSQUISHIEHUGGLES*
Date: 2002-11-22 03:50 pm (UTC)only if you're very lucky!!
no subject
Date: 2002-11-22 04:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-11-22 06:50 pm (UTC)You're a great person, and people should *not* treat you like they have been. Many people love you, so many more than those who put you down. Just remember that. :)
*bighugs*
Ody ~*
no subject
Date: 2002-11-22 07:18 pm (UTC)About Israel thing, well I was born there and you can imagine the time when bus explosion happened every dya of the week and that was back in 1995. I just don't know if they'll ever have peace, but I hope they will because my family is there I am worried something will happen to them.
no subject
Date: 2002-11-22 07:22 pm (UTC)Many many hugs for you also; sounds like you need them as well.
no subject
Date: 2002-11-22 07:25 pm (UTC)Hmmmm....I'm not sure I can let you stay in my house now. Everyone must pass the 'Watership Down' questionaire before enterting after all.
*giggles*
Oh, don't be so daft ye great pillock -- of COURSE I still love you! Sheeesh onna stick. :-P
SCREW THEM ALL!!!!!!!!
Date: 2002-11-22 07:33 pm (UTC)I'm done.
Anyhoo, do you know what a t00b is? I keep seeing it, and hate not knowing. I know I can ask you and you won't laugh at me.
Cheers!
no subject
Date: 2002-11-22 07:39 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-11-22 07:42 pm (UTC)Abso-smeggin-lutely. :)
That icon is SO adorable! *cuddles it* :D
no subject
Date: 2002-11-22 07:48 pm (UTC)Wonder what his face would look like with his lipstick all smudged up...
Re: SCREW THEM ALL!!!!!!!!
Date: 2002-11-22 07:50 pm (UTC)Aiii, that icon...Can't...help...staring...*giggles*
Thanks for making me laugh Eyre my sweet, I really wish you were here to 'grrr' with me and obsess over LOTR hotties to get over the pain. *grins*
*hugs you tight*
no subject
Date: 2002-11-22 07:53 pm (UTC)I'm sure it'd look delicious, as usual...;-)
I'll try and find a picture from the ad campain, you really will hit the floor when you see it. I couldn't help staring for a full 30 seconds, my jaw gaping wide (was there drool? I'm not going to say ;-) and not even caring that I was being glared at by other commuters. He is just so...MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Did I mention the 'mmmmmmm'? *giggles*
no subject
Date: 2002-11-22 10:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-11-22 10:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-11-23 02:31 am (UTC)*laughs* What an utterly tempting idea...I even like the name. *G*
And I do love Boston. Fanieul Hall is fun! *bounce*
Jamie is sooooo mad at me
Date: 2002-11-23 02:41 am (UTC)I was the black rabbit - Ironically Jamie is shit scared of the black rabbit and very phobic about the film.......
He is still totally freaked and is refusing to read my live journal and going mental at me because it means when he opens his friends page and sees the black rabbit leaping across his live journal ........
I am being serious he has blown his stack at me for doing this test because it means he has to see it on LJ friends page.....
*meep* now i am freaked out......
Heh heh I'll just leap around the bed tonight dressed in black with black bunny ears muhahahaha
Re: Jamie is sooooo mad at me
Date: 2002-11-23 02:43 am (UTC)*giggles* I was scared of the Black Rabbit when I was little too! 'Course, I'm not scared anymore...;-)
I shouldn't mock him (oh, but its so fun!) though, because I'm still terrified of clown dolls. *giggles*
no subject
Date: 2002-11-23 07:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-11-23 07:13 am (UTC)Re: Jamie is sooooo mad at me
Date: 2002-11-23 07:33 am (UTC)Are you going to come to the next watgoths pub meet? Its next Tuesday if you want to come and we meet at the Flag around 8pm....
Also trying to organise a watgoths meal and trip out to see The Two Towers.
If you want to join Watgoths just look for them in yahoo groups and then send a request to join on the joining link.
By the way do you know of any Tolkien fan meets that go on round this area or somewhere i could get to easily from Watford?
hugs
xxxxxx
Re: Jamie is sooooo mad at me
Date: 2002-11-23 04:28 pm (UTC)I wish I knew of Tolkien fan meets! I don't know of any around here, I just know that a bunch of people from TheOneRing.Net are going to be at the premiere on 11 December.
I tried calling you lots of times about the last pubmeet, did you ever get my messages? I wonder if I have the wrong number...I was worried because you didn't answer, and that meant you didn't actually want me to come, so I rather stupidly didn't say anything to you for a while. *grins sheepishly*
I'll definately come to the next one! *bouncebounce*
no subject
Date: 2002-11-24 05:24 am (UTC)The people who've been putting you down sound like morons. Poor you, though - must be really difficult. *sends strength and resilience of a hundred Tooks to help get you through it all...*
You are clearly worth so much more than they think - that's obvious to me and I've never even met you.
*more hugs*
Do you know what the Eddie Izzard DVD's going to be called? I think that might have to go on a list of things to get at some point... he rules!
I love the Watership Down quiz. Pipkin's cool. :-) I got Hazel! I love the film, although I love the book even more. When I was little I used to be fascinated by the fact that the film of WD, the Bakshi Lord of the Rings cartoon and the LotR radio series, had lots and lots of overlaps in terms of the people doing the voices. The biggest being a guy called Michael Graeme Cox, who did the voice of Boromir in both LotR adaptations, and was also Bigwig. Dandelion and Merry-in-the-Radio-series were both voiced by Richard O'Callaghan, and so on and so forth.
Well, I was eight, and easily impressed. But there's something about Bigwig and Boromir being the same person that is just fantastical...
Hope you're feeling happier soon.
no subject
Date: 2002-11-24 09:12 am (UTC)I'm sorry about the singing bit. I hope you start feeling better, Nevvie :( To make them happy try to add more pazazz to whatever you're doing. I'm sure you're doing great, but performance-director people are crazy :p *hug* I'll get Aragorn to beat them up for you.
<br
no subject
Date: 2002-11-24 10:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-11-24 11:22 am (UTC)You are clearly worth so much more than they think - that's obvious to me and I've never even met you
*BLUSH!* Awww thats so sweet, thank you! *squish*
Hazel and Boromir are the same?? Wicked! *poing*
I had no idea about those crossovers...which is a bit odd really, because I like researching voice actors, and know the names of just about everyone who's doing voices in cartoons nowadays. Yes, ah'm sad. *giggles*
no subject
Date: 2002-11-26 11:02 pm (UTC)i liked hazel and fiver best. but i don't really remember the movie. i read the book in 8th grade lit and everyone else hated it, but i loved it.
the same very people also dislike tolkien. it's a pity.
no subject
Date: 2002-11-27 06:18 am (UTC)Ah no, Bigwig and Boromir are the same.
But Hazel was played by John Hurt, who also played Aragorn in the Bakshi LotR film.
Some how I get the feeling the voices for adaptations of wonderful books in the later 70s and early 80s are all done by the same people...
Researching voice actors is groovy. Not sad at all. :-) I tend to know more about radio actors than cartoons. There are some actors I'll listen to just about anything for, just to hear the voice. John McAndrew tends to be one - wish he was in more! Michael Maloney is the other obvious one - talk about voice to swoon over...
*hugs*
Elly
Re:
Date: 2002-11-27 01:24 pm (UTC)*LOL*
I meant Bigwig, why on earth did I say Hazel? I knew his voice was John Hurt, because I am absolutely, head over heels in luuuuuuuuurve with it. (Mmmmmmmmm Caligula...;-)