I have no idea why I wrote this. I blame nerdcakes ;-)

[neverwhere]

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present: The World's Most Appalling Piece of LOTR Fanfic, by Neverwhere the Magnificent.


Enjoy. *grins*




Merry?'
'Yes, Pip?'
'What are we doing here'?
'You already know that, Pippin. We're here to watch over Nevvie as she writes her first fanfic.'
'Really? Will there be smut? I'm not sure I can take any more, my thighs are beginning to ache.'
'I don't think so.'
'Oh good.'

'Merry?'
'What.'
'What are we supposed to do, exactly?'
'Just be quiet Pip, and look cute. I think she needs to be inspired by your insipid adorableness.'
'You think I'm insipid? I thought you were my best friend.'
'I am, but the screaming fangirls who worship your pretty curls and pouty cupid's bow lips drive me crazy. I wish they'd just stop. Or at least throw themselves at *me* for once.'
'But they do. I've seen them stare at your trousers for hours. I know they're very nice trousers, but it does seem a little obsessive to me. I mean, they're just trousers, right? Everybody wears them.'
'Indeed.'
'Why are you looking at me like that?'
'Because you amuse me.'
'Is that all?'
'Yes. Why, do you want it to be more?'
'Uhmmmm...'
'Stop chewing on your scarf Pip.'
'I thought you said there wouldn't be smut.'
'This isn't smut.'
'Oh no? It feels quite smutty to me.'
'I'm not doing anything to you, am I?'
'Well, no.'
'There you are then.'

'Merry?'
'Yes, Pip.'
'Could you not put your carrot there? You're making me uncomfortable.'
'Sorry.'
'No, seriously. Put it somewhere else.'
'I did.'
'Oh.'
'I was wrong Pip. This is smut.'
'I thought as much.'
'I guess we'd better just enjoy it.'
'You're right. Pass the the lube, would you? Cheers.'

Comments

[slyzucchinio.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.





Blast. I've wet myself.

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

OMG! How COOL!

Damn, who knew I was so funny. Certainly not me. *laughs* :D

[mrs-puppethead.livejournal.com]

*giggling uncontrollably*

*snuggles Pip and Pop*

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

Hee!

Esther made me this pppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrfeeeeeeeeecccctttttttttttttt icon. *loves her purple otter daemon twins so very muchly* :D

Maybe I should write more really bad fanfiction. I seem to be getting a good reaction from it. ;-)

[trianne.livejournal.com]

Bravo, baby!

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

TRINNY! *pounce!*

Well, if you approve, I must have done something right. *beams* :D

[marp2003.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That. Is. Genius.

I love it! Woot! More! More! *G*

*hugs*

*Spring*

[trukkle.livejournal.com]

*chuckles at that for a good long time*
That's inspired! You pervy pippin fancier, you :D

Gotta feel sorry for the poor mites, they thought the orcs were bad, they never saw the fanfics coming till it was too late *grins*




Bloody love your icons too! Übercute purple Nevvie-otters and the one with the kitty girl on it :D

Re: *Spring*

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

Aren't my new icons wicked? I've been so sick of having the same ones for months, and now my dearest brandybuck made my otterlicious icon, and I found the fabulous Inuyasha one. Inuyasha is a boy, and a dog demon. Well, half-demon. Not a girl. :-P

Thank you for the gratuitous praise my sweet. *nibblesmooch!*

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

More? Oh dear god no. *lol*

...You don't really want me to subject my minions to more of my appalling smut, do you? ;-)

Re: *Spring*

[trukkle.livejournal.com]

Hehehe, I blame his long hair on the sex confusion and Anime in general for thinking he was a cat :D

They're really wicked! All that could make the otters cuter is if they see-sawed up and down wiggling their arms :D
brandybuck captured some pure cute there! *pouncenuzzlenibble*

Re: *Spring*

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

I am pure cute, aren't I. *mrrrr*

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Haaaaaaaaaaaa!!

I knew you ought to write fic. I knew it in my bones, I did!

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

Oh dear! You're going to try and convince me to become a drabble writing fiend, aren't you. *hides*

:D

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Yes! Yes! I will corrupt you! You will be a fiend yet, you mark my words!

*g*

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

Oh, how I yearn to be corrupted by you. *licks lips in delicious anticipation*

*giggles*

[airemay.livejournal.com]

I MISS YOU DAMMIT!!!!

At least I will FINALLY get to see you in November. But it's so far away!! I could *try* to go to the Newport Beach thing tomorrow. It all depends on how far it is. <3<3<3<3.

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

It's only two weeks away silly. You've been waiting, what, three years? I hardly think a few extra days will matter. :-P

Don't stress meine liebe! I fear I will disappoint you immensely.

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Mm.

Something tells me it's not going to be terribly difficult...

:)

[mrs-puppethead.livejournal.com]

Don't stress meine liebe! I fear I will disappoint you immensely.

Don't you hate it when she does that? *gives Nevvie stern look*

[marp2003.livejournal.com]

Of course not....

*cough*bring it on!!

Hehe. *G*

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

*shocked gasp*

Hey now! Just what exactly are you trying to imply? HMMMMMMM? *icy death glare* :-P


Hehehehe. Well. You may be right. :D

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

*giggles sheepishly*

I can't help it. I'm so self conscious. *shuffles feet and smiles sweetly*

[sheldrake.livejournal.com]

Ooh, that icy death glare cuts straight to the bone!

*winks*

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

Rawr.

You're such a manipulative wench. How I want to shag hate you. *lol*