'Not all tears are an evil'...but this is getting ridiculous

[neverwhere]

I have just been listening to the Return of the King soundtrack, and could not refrain from feeling choked up the entire time. And the tears started flowing in the middle of Return of the King, and didn't stop until the end of Into the West. What the hell is wrong with me??
I can't even read the lyrics of Into the West without getting a knot in my stomach. This has got to stop.


I'm worried that although ROTK is now my favourite film ever, I will never be able to properly enjoy it without being so overwhelmed by my emotions I feel numb afterwards. I'm also rather worried that this whole crying thing is detrimental to my emotional well being. I know there are lots of reasons for why I am still so affected by ROTK: I'm incredibly unhappy with my life at the moment, and I feel such a connection to the story and characters that I am both uplifted by them and encouraged to persevere against all odds, but also plagued with self-doubt, for I fear I shall never be able to accomplish even the smallest task, nor ever have such endearing, powerful friendships to help me through my struggles. It is also Journey's End -- my life has for so long (or so it seems) revolved around these stories, I don't know what I will do now that the experience will be over. I don't want to say goodbye. I'm getting choked up even as I type, thinking of Frodo sailing into the West, and what that means for both his friends and for me.

I also think I am WAY too sensitive, and affected by fictional things. I know this to be true, and it has always been true, but it hasn't stopped me feeling this way. I think this is quite possibly the most extreme it's ever been though. And most embarrassing. *sigh*


You're all probably worrying about my sanity now. Well, join the club. :)

Comments

[eyre-lasgalen.livejournal.com]

I'd love to say that there's nothing wrong with you, because I feel exactly the same way, but we have to face up to the fact that there probably is something wrong with us.

I think it's partly being overly emotional. I'm an extremely emotional person, as I know you are too. The highs are VERY high, and the lows are VERY low. It's like most people live life on a scale of 1 to 10 and people like us live life on a scale of 1 to 100. My old roomie actually suspected that I might be bipolar, my moods were so excessively swingy back then.

I know it's not right, but I can't help it either. Most fans say they cried, yes, but I wonder if anyone else has ever sobbed aloud, and shaken violently with tears....has anyone else felt physically ill? I don't know.

It's not really over, either. Sure LotR won't be made into a movie again, but there are still so many other stories. There is all the lore. I know it's not the same. I wish there was some director out there dedicated enough to the mythology to make movies of all the other amazing and beutiful stories. The creation of Arda, the awakening of Elves, the story of Luthien and Beren, the Quenta Silmarillion, Gil-Galad, the Numenoreans...all of the amazing people and places and stories comprising thousands of years that I have nearly deluded myself into believe they actually existed.

I know I'm not right in the head, but I'm not hurting anyone besides myself, so who the fuck cares how fucked up I am?

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

>I wonder if anyone else has ever sobbed aloud, and shaken violently with tears

*raises hand* I have. Rhiannon was witness to my extreme sobbing, shaking, and near inability to move for 15 minutes after the end of the film. And that was just the first time. Just talking about it can set me off -- I was discussing Sam's devotion with my mum, and I had to stop because I started sobbing violently. And not because I'm sad, but because it makes me so supremely happy. Just knowing such sacrafice and love is possible gives me so much joy.

Gods, wouldn't a film of Beren and Luthien be breathtaking? I think I will have truly died and gone to heaven if that ever happens.


>I know I'm not right in the head, but I'm not hurting anyone besides myself, so who the fuck cares how fucked up I am?

AMEN to that. You always understand perfectly what I feel. Because I know you feel it too. *squeeeezes you tight*

[eyre-lasgalen.livejournal.com]

Damn. New Life's Goal - become a director and make a film of Luthien and Beren. Oh yes

Everytime I feel alone, and I feel like no one understands, I just remember sobbing on your shoulder during FotR. Then I know that at least there are two of us.

What I find most weird is the fact that I just got into LotR. It just struck me like lightening when I saw FotR. Until then I knew the story basically, but had little interest. Then suddenly BAM I'm obsessed and emotionally invested.

I don't like my Pippin icon. I'm still working on that....

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

At first I thought your opening line said 'new life's goat', which didn't seem to make sense at all. *G*

I wish I could be with you, if only to remind you that you are never alone, and that someone understands you. *cuddles*

I have glasses exactly like yours now, although of course I don't look nearly so sexy in them. ;-)

[eyre-lasgalen.livejournal.com]

I saw those glasses!! They aren't Gucci, are they? Mine are Guccis, and I'm going to hell for buying designer frames, but I just really loved them, freaking Gucci or not.

I decided that of course I'd never buy anything just because it was designer, but neither would I pass up the frames I REALLY wanted because they were

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

Mine aren't quite as swish, being Diesel and not Gucci, but they are still rather posh. *grins*

If you're going to hell, shove over and make room in that handbasket for me. ;-)

[eyre-lasgalen.livejournal.com]

If you're there too, it can't possibly be hell. Unless they split us up, like a nasty teacher who doesn't want two troublemakers sitting together.

[threerings.livejournal.com]

On a slightly serious note. To anyone who feels like there is something wrong with them for being deeply affected by things, I would highly recommned Elaine Aron's book "The Highly Sensitive Person." She's a psychologist who's done a bunch of research on people she calls Highly sensitive people or HSP's. Turns out it's about 15-20% of the population and the sensitivity extends to everything inclucing physical and neurological reactions. Interesting stuff and helpful not to feel like a complete freak.
Hugs from a HSP.

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the recommendation, I shall try and find it at the library this afternoon. *squishes* :)