neverwhere

I have just been listening to the Return of the King soundtrack, and could not refrain from feeling choked up the entire time. And the tears started flowing in the middle of Return of the King, and didn't stop until the end of Into the West. What the hell is wrong with me??
I can't even read the lyrics of Into the West without getting a knot in my stomach. This has got to stop.

I'm worried that although ROTK is now my favourite film ever, I will never be able to properly enjoy it without being so overwhelmed by my emotions I feel numb afterwards. I'm also rather worried that this whole crying thing is detrimental to my emotional well being. I know there are lots of reasons for why I am still so affected by ROTK: I'm incredibly unhappy with my life at the moment, and I feel such a connection to the story and characters that I am both uplifted by them and encouraged to persevere against all odds, but also plagued with self-doubt, for I fear I shall never be able to accomplish even the smallest task, nor ever have such endearing, powerful friendships to help me through my struggles. It is also Journey's End -- my life has for so long (or so it seems) revolved around these stories, I don't know what I will do now that the experience will be over. I don't want to say goodbye. I'm getting choked up even as I type, thinking of Frodo sailing into the West, and what that means for both his friends and for me.

I also think I am WAY too sensitive, and affected by fictional things. I know this to be true, and it has always been true, but it hasn't stopped me feeling this way. I think this is quite possibly the most extreme it's ever been though. And most embarrassing. *sigh*

You're all probably worrying about my sanity now. Well, join the club. :)