(no subject)

[neverwhere]

I didn't sleep well last night. I suppose that's no suprise to anyone. It wasn't so much that I was tossing and turning, although there was a bit of that, as much as just lying with my eyes closed being totally unable to relax. It didn't help that the same lines from Jesus Christ Superstar kept playing over and over in my mind:

When he's cold and dead
Will he let me be
Does he love me
Does he love me too
Does he care for me

I've always felt Judas' anguish, and sympathized with him more than any other character in musical theatre, but today his words seem especially poignant for me.
I suppose I'm feeling better today. Well, not so much better as numb. I just don't know what to do, but I know I can not keep feeling sorry for myself. I am a good person and a cheerful, bouncey person, I don't need to feel this way. So I won't.

Thank you so much everyone who has given me your support. I appreciate it more than you know. *hugs you all*

Comments

aww nevvie...

[ellenjames.livejournal.com]

*hug* i know what you mean about the music. lately it seems like if i'm going to get music stuck in my head that won't let me get to sleep, it has to be the most hurtful lines of a song that get stuck there. :( seems like that ought to be a little thing but sometimes it can really tear you up. i'm sorry things are rough for you... dunno what's wrong but i hope it gets better quick!! lemme know if you need me to beat anybody up or bite their ankles or anything like that...

*big hugs*

Awww, Nevvie, we love you!!

[(Anonymous)]

Nevvie,

I don't know what's going on at HOL either; no one will tell us even if we ask, so I don't know what to say. Conary, me, & some others are desperately trying to defend you in the Roost. (Well, he comes up with the post, & then I say "yeah, what he says!"). Although, as prefect I'm trying to restore calm so I'm also saying "it'll work itself out. contact your prefects."

You're my bestest friend in the world; I wish we could go out for a drink and just talk. Email me ok?

Hugs,
Licy

[airemay.livejournal.com]

I will not let you feel sad. If you get sad, I will start singing very annoying children songs. Or... ANNIE SONGS! *big gasp and shouts of BITCH, EVIL!*

;)

I don't really know the whole story, but I really hope that you feel better. Whether you like it or not, I am worried about yo, and f',1 not rest until you feel better! MUAH! *G*

[terratheelf.livejournal.com]

Please cheer up nevvie!
I miss your bouncy nevvieish presence and so do many others.
So, no more sadness and tears please.

*hugs*

[marp2003.livejournal.com]

Nice to know you're feeling better, Nev! ((hugs)) I miss your cheery self too. :)

[fropi.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to send some *HUGS* your way-hope you are sleeping better, and feeling better soon! *BIGGIANTSQUISH*

[marcyleecorgan.livejournal.com]

*big hugs for the sweet nevvie*

accccckkkkkkk!!!!

[guineveredawn.livejournal.com]

I am too late, much too late!

Nevvie, you know I love you, and I think you're a lovely, lovely gal. (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) to you! Don't let other people make you think differently.

Love you lots,
guineveredawn