(no subject)

[neverwhere]

I didn't sleep well last night. I suppose that's no suprise to anyone. It wasn't so much that I was tossing and turning, although there was a bit of that, as much as just lying with my eyes closed being totally unable to relax. It didn't help that the same lines from Jesus Christ Superstar kept playing over and over in my mind:

When he's cold and dead
Will he let me be
Does he love me
Does he love me too
Does he care for me

I've always felt Judas' anguish, and sympathized with him more than any other character in musical theatre, but today his words seem especially poignant for me.
I suppose I'm feeling better today. Well, not so much better as numb. I just don't know what to do, but I know I can not keep feeling sorry for myself. I am a good person and a cheerful, bouncey person, I don't need to feel this way. So I won't.

Thank you so much everyone who has given me your support. I appreciate it more than you know. *hugs you all*

Comments

aww nevvie...

[ellenjames.livejournal.com]

*hug* i know what you mean about the music. lately it seems like if i'm going to get music stuck in my head that won't let me get to sleep, it has to be the most hurtful lines of a song that get stuck there. :( seems like that ought to be a little thing but sometimes it can really tear you up. i'm sorry things are rough for you... dunno what's wrong but i hope it gets better quick!! lemme know if you need me to beat anybody up or bite their ankles or anything like that...

*big hugs*