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Dec. 5th, 2002 11:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
neverwhereI was going to write an extremely long, ranting entry about my miserable day, and how sad and sick I am. But I just can't be bothered -- I seem to have LJ 'moods', where one week I will want to update everyday and am excited and happy to do so, and the next I will update only once or twice and not want to write anything, no matter how important my news might be. This has definately been one of those weeks.
Brief summary: Am furious because I have completely lost my voice and will be unable to do anything other than squeak painfully when I try to sing tomorrow night. Also have been shouted at several times for absolutely no reason, and was basically told that I am a worthless piece of shit with a bad attitude who will amount to nothing. By someone who is supposed to be my friend and mentor. I cried unceasingly for over an hour before I could make my way home, leaving my clown-like stage makeup to bleed down my face and leave my cheeks a riot of purple and green, and my eyes so red and bloodshot it looked like I was on drugs (something, let me just state for the record, that I have never and will never do) and gave me the look of a demented circus freak, so everyone was free to stare at me all the way home. *sighs wearily*
Talking is painful, I ache all over, I feel weak and stupid for sobbing my heart out yet again.
Sigh.
Well. Anyway. I think I'll go pity myself a bit more before heading to bed. If anyone would like to pray for me, or just wish me good luck tomorrow night, it would be very appreciated.
*hugs you all*
Brief summary: Am furious because I have completely lost my voice and will be unable to do anything other than squeak painfully when I try to sing tomorrow night. Also have been shouted at several times for absolutely no reason, and was basically told that I am a worthless piece of shit with a bad attitude who will amount to nothing. By someone who is supposed to be my friend and mentor. I cried unceasingly for over an hour before I could make my way home, leaving my clown-like stage makeup to bleed down my face and leave my cheeks a riot of purple and green, and my eyes so red and bloodshot it looked like I was on drugs (something, let me just state for the record, that I have never and will never do) and gave me the look of a demented circus freak, so everyone was free to stare at me all the way home. *sighs wearily*
Talking is painful, I ache all over, I feel weak and stupid for sobbing my heart out yet again.
Sigh.
Well. Anyway. I think I'll go pity myself a bit more before heading to bed. If anyone would like to pray for me, or just wish me good luck tomorrow night, it would be very appreciated.
*hugs you all*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Good luck, Nevvie !
Date: 2002-12-06 06:35 am (UTC)Oh btw it reminded me... I had a teacher at the University, whose basic attitude was exactly like this, that we all are worthless pieces of shit and disgrace to the science of Mathematics. Most of the class prompty hated him, except for me, for some reason I took it close to heart and set to prove that *I* am not a worthless piece of shit. ( I also developed a crush on him... DUNNO WHY ) Pretty soon I was publically acknowledged as the best student at his class :-)