(no subject)

[neverwhere]

I was going to write an extremely long, ranting entry about my miserable day, and how sad and sick I am. But I just can't be bothered -- I seem to have LJ 'moods', where one week I will want to update everyday and am excited and happy to do so, and the next I will update only once or twice and not want to write anything, no matter how important my news might be. This has definately been one of those weeks.

Brief summary: Am furious because I have completely lost my voice and will be unable to do anything other than squeak painfully when I try to sing tomorrow night. Also have been shouted at several times for absolutely no reason, and was basically told that I am a worthless piece of shit with a bad attitude who will amount to nothing. By someone who is supposed to be my friend and mentor. I cried unceasingly for over an hour before I could make my way home, leaving my clown-like stage makeup to bleed down my face and leave my cheeks a riot of purple and green, and my eyes so red and bloodshot it looked like I was on drugs (something, let me just state for the record, that I have never and will never do) and gave me the look of a demented circus freak, so everyone was free to stare at me all the way home. *sighs wearily*

Talking is painful, I ache all over, I feel weak and stupid for sobbing my heart out yet again.

Sigh.

Well. Anyway. I think I'll go pity myself a bit more before heading to bed. If anyone would like to pray for me, or just wish me good luck tomorrow night, it would be very appreciated.

*hugs you all*

Comments

[hyzenflay.livejournal.com]

*tries to send you some energy*
unfortunately i am sick and it might be sucky energy.
hmm. but yeah, break legs or something. (if you have stage make up on, then prolly best not to say G L)
btw, as i don't know you that well, don't hate me for asking what happening tomorrow night?

[mamaslyth.livejournal.com]

You need a mentor who isn't bi-polar.

Good Luck tomorrow Night :)

[ravynne.livejournal.com]

Sorry you had a rotten day! Me too- I will drink an ameretto sour for you when I go on my binge later ;)
Good luck tomorrow night! I will pray for you and keep every possible part of my body crossed :)

[andyfox.livejournal.com]

Awww.. sad to hear.. but chear up for your real friends love you for the person we know. Hey your a cheary happy person when we see you so smile and go make yourself a cup of tea (and one for me as well while your at it ^,^).

*hugs a poor ottah*

[trakkie.livejournal.com]

You are NOT weak or stupid for crying - dealing with your feelings is never weak. I'm sorry that things aren't going well for you, I hope your throat feels better soon - I've heard that tea with honey, and hot water with lemon both help, although I am not a singer, so I don't know all of the singer tricks. :) Good luck tommorow!

*hugs*

[trukkle.livejournal.com]

Sounds like your 'friend /mentor' needs to look up the definition of both words in a dictionary, those are dumb things to say to anyone.

I've had an idea what to get you, but I'm not telling. Not for all the cake in the tin :P

[marp2003.livejournal.com]

Sorry you're feeling so bad, Nev. I hate it when my voice decides to fail on me when I have to do a performance. *hugs*

P.S.-My internet's working again. I'm back! Yippee!

[eyre-lasgalen.livejournal.com]

Nev, what a fine pair you and I are. One week is a complete downer, and the next a manic attack.

People are always coming down on you at that school! You KNOW it's all shite! Don't listen to it. You do the best that you can, and don't worry about what anyone else says. Sounds so silly but it's just the truth.

Wish I were there...............

[mlfoley.livejournal.com]

***HUGS YOU***

I do sincerely wish you good luck, hon, and I will pray for you.

And if all your "friend" can do is insult you and degrade you, you need to lose this "friend," for your own good.

[blantoncirith.livejournal.com]

I'm with pouk23 on this one, you need to lose this friend/mentor because apparently they are neither. Schooling is a hard thing, and if you're in a very competitive place people will mock you and yell at you and say all kinds of untrue shit. Don't take it personaly and definitely don't believe it. Because you know what you're capable of, and they don't. *hug* I hope you do wonderfully tomorrow night. Gte plenty of rest and drink something nice and soothing, though I don't know what helps a throat.

<brn

[snowelf.livejournal.com]

I third that...that person is a creep to treat you like that, Nevvie. You are a wonderful person.

Good luck, Nevvie !

[cat-irix.livejournal.com]

Good luck and best wishes and hugs :-)

Oh btw it reminded me... I had a teacher at the University, whose basic attitude was exactly like this, that we all are worthless pieces of shit and disgrace to the science of Mathematics. Most of the class prompty hated him, except for me, for some reason I took it close to heart and set to prove that *I* am not a worthless piece of shit. ( I also developed a crush on him... DUNNO WHY ) Pretty soon I was publically acknowledged as the best student at his class :-)

[akira114.livejournal.com]

Why do bad things always happen to the wrong people? Such a wonderful person as yourself doesn't deserve such treatment. I don't know how someone couldn't see that. Anyway, balls to them,

*hugs* for you.

Akira

[theinsaneasylum.livejournal.com]

Why can't just people be nice to one another?!? And who gets off yelling at YOU of all people -my wonderful, beautiful Nevvie!!!!!! It frankly makes me sick! I hope everything goes well, I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best *squishes her marvellous Nevster*

Love you!!!!

[queeniefox.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

This 'mentor' doesn't sound like someone you should listen to. *wishes spells were real so she could do a choice one on this idiot*
You are not weak for crying, some people never show their feelings and end up much the worse for it.

Best wishes for tomorrow - Lemsip has a lot of really good stuff for colds and throats, look for the stuff that's already made up in bottles, not the actual powder that you put in hot water as that doesn't work as well. (plus I always thought it tasted foul Failing that somthing with honey in it and sleep.

[arcane-anteater.livejournal.com]

((( hugs )))

Nev, there's nothing wrong with crying-- it's an admirable thing to do! Expressing your feelings is the only way to create change, so keeping it bottled up inside does no good. You are a good person. It is your "friend" who isn't one.

I really hope your preformance goes well and that you feel better (both physically and emotionally) soon. ~sends some warm fuzzies Nevvie's way~

Re:

[blantoncirith.livejournal.com]

love the icon and looove the name. Snowelf *giggles* how cute

<br

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

I wish you were here too. So much.

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

Heyyyyyyy you! *pouncehugs*

Welcome back! :D

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

HA! *giggles madly*

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

I had to sing (or rather, croak) in a concert tonight. Bah. *kicks things*

And don't worry about asking me things, I certainly don't mind. :)

Re: Good Luck tomorrow Night :)

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

*wonders how many times you toasted her last night* ;-)

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

Meep.

Go on, tell me. Pwease? *flutters eyelashes*

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

Thank youuuuuuu. *squish* :)

I haven't seen you in a while, I'm pleased to know you haven't forgotten me. *G* (Yeah, like that's possible ;-)

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

Hee!

You are so sweet, thank you. :))

Re:

[mlfoley.livejournal.com]

Of course not! I've just been off with Elizabeth a lot. *grins*

[mirabehn.livejournal.com]

**hugggsss**

I'd just like to second everything everyone else has been saying: you're not weak for crying easily. You come across to me as a very strong person, actually - very good at bouncing back from some pretty hard times.

Your mentor/"friend" sounds like he/she has some serious problems, which are not your problems. However much you care about and admire this person, are you really sure you want to be spending so much time with him/her?

Ach! the lost voice. I know the feeling sooo well. :-( And yet I don't know all that many reliable tricks - I wish I did! Gargling with hot water can be quite a good one. There was an exercise my singing teacher taught me to help get the vocal folds working properly, but unfortunately I can't remember it. Obviously lots of humming ("ng" sound especially, or moving through from "mmm" to "nnn" to "ng") can get your resonance up, and compensate for the voice-loss.

But I guess you'll have done your concert by now anyway? I really hope it came together.

*huge hugs* You're in my thoughts.

Elly

Re:

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

*huggles* Thanks for all your advice and sympathy, I really appreciate it. :)

And I did do the 'ng' sirening thing, but it didn't really help. Ah well!

Squishy snaky hugs.

[izmeina.livejournal.com]

Ickle Izzie is slowly slinking her way around Secret Diary Land..
and what does she find..? A Hobbit hole!
Ooooh my precioussss. You mean Hobbit is not happy? Professor Snape called you a what???
Nevvie a squib?? Mystical magical musical magnificent Nevvie. NEVER!
So I guess it is... er..not a good time to have another Dementor round for dinner. But wait till you see what I got in my pocketses..... a handful of hemlock tea bags, monkshood muffins....foxglove fritters.... I'll get Severus to sample them first...shall I?

Squishy squashy slushy kisses from a quirkie cuddly Dursleyish Dementor.
Oh and don't tell my ma - I'm not supposed to say this - but keep practising those Patronus Charms.

Re: Squishy snaky hugs.

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

Slushy kisses? Sounds slippery and slimey...just like you. ;-)

*pouncehuggles*

*munches delicious foxglove fritters*

[snowelf.livejournal.com]

*grin* Thank you. It's cuteness with claws, though.