(no subject)

[neverwhere]

I was going to write an extremely long, ranting entry about my miserable day, and how sad and sick I am. But I just can't be bothered -- I seem to have LJ 'moods', where one week I will want to update everyday and am excited and happy to do so, and the next I will update only once or twice and not want to write anything, no matter how important my news might be. This has definately been one of those weeks.

Brief summary: Am furious because I have completely lost my voice and will be unable to do anything other than squeak painfully when I try to sing tomorrow night. Also have been shouted at several times for absolutely no reason, and was basically told that I am a worthless piece of shit with a bad attitude who will amount to nothing. By someone who is supposed to be my friend and mentor. I cried unceasingly for over an hour before I could make my way home, leaving my clown-like stage makeup to bleed down my face and leave my cheeks a riot of purple and green, and my eyes so red and bloodshot it looked like I was on drugs (something, let me just state for the record, that I have never and will never do) and gave me the look of a demented circus freak, so everyone was free to stare at me all the way home. *sighs wearily*

Talking is painful, I ache all over, I feel weak and stupid for sobbing my heart out yet again.

Sigh.

Well. Anyway. I think I'll go pity myself a bit more before heading to bed. If anyone would like to pray for me, or just wish me good luck tomorrow night, it would be very appreciated.

*hugs you all*

Comments

[mirabehn.livejournal.com]

**hugggsss**

I'd just like to second everything everyone else has been saying: you're not weak for crying easily. You come across to me as a very strong person, actually - very good at bouncing back from some pretty hard times.

Your mentor/"friend" sounds like he/she has some serious problems, which are not your problems. However much you care about and admire this person, are you really sure you want to be spending so much time with him/her?

Ach! the lost voice. I know the feeling sooo well. :-( And yet I don't know all that many reliable tricks - I wish I did! Gargling with hot water can be quite a good one. There was an exercise my singing teacher taught me to help get the vocal folds working properly, but unfortunately I can't remember it. Obviously lots of humming ("ng" sound especially, or moving through from "mmm" to "nnn" to "ng") can get your resonance up, and compensate for the voice-loss.

But I guess you'll have done your concert by now anyway? I really hope it came together.

*huge hugs* You're in my thoughts.

Elly

Re:

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

*huggles* Thanks for all your advice and sympathy, I really appreciate it. :)

And I did do the 'ng' sirening thing, but it didn't really help. Ah well!