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Mar. 6th, 2003 12:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
neverwhereI'm going on a diet.
It needs to be done. I have been told far too many times to count that if only I were thinner I would never have any problems getting work -- agents would be disembowelling each other at a chance to have me on their books, because I'm cute, energetic, passionate, friendly and a genuinely nice person, something which is (believe me) is a rare find in the theatre world, and of course have great singing and acting abilities. But wrap all that talent and personality in a roly poly pudding like me, and they won't even give me a second glance. It's okay to be big, as long as you're REALLY big, like Dawn French big, but medium big like me will get you nowhere, just the occasional serving wench and possibly the 'skinny lead girl's fat best friend'. Hurrah. So I really am going on a diet now. Besides, I think I will have a nervous breakdown if I have to go clothes shopping again and leave every single damn store empty handed because not a thing fits me. Fat girl clothes don’t fit because I'm too short and bulge in all the wrong places (everyone is supposed to have a specific body shape, like the Apple [big on top, thin hips and legs], Pear [big hips and thighs] and Hourglass [big everywhere, thin waist], but I'm a fucking rectangle -- thick ankles, big thighs, absolutely no definition between hips and waist, big chest -- and there is not a goddamn thing made by ANYone that can match my body shape. If I at least had some kind of curves like normal fat women, I'd be happier. It's the fact that I'm so bloody unnatural that really upsets me) and of course I can't even think of entering a 'normal' store, because they'd probably throw me out. I was thrown out of Morgan, a snottily discriminating clothes shop, once, where they don't have anything above a size 8 (that's a US 4-6) because they don't want 'fat girls wearing their clothes'. Nice, huh. Anyway. What was I saying? I have no idea. I am probably just waffling on quite a bit because I'm extremely annoyed right now. Sorry. The point I'm trying to make is, I need to go on a diet. Or at least, a 'reduced food intake regime'. Yeah, that sounds better, doesn't it. :)
I'm currently reading a book daringly entitled I, Lucifer, which, not unsurprisingly, earns me alot of strange looks reading it on the train. It's an autobiography from the Morningstar's point of view, and although I thought it was a bit pretentious at first, I'm rather enjoying it. Lucifer is portrayed as a very camp, sarcastic, charming and utterly British protagonist (antagonist? Hard to say really), which makes it quite difficult not to think of Crowley when reading him, but of course I like Crowley a lot more, mostly because although he's a daemon, he's a nice guy really. Lucifer, however, is not. I would probably recommend this book to anyone who likes Good Omens, but you should be warned that the language is exceedingly filthy at times, although the writer (or should I say, Lucifer) has the most marvellous gift for hyperbole, and the descriptions of the every day world as seen through the senses of an Angel are remarkably beautiful.
I'm a little bit sad that an LJ friend has taken me off her friendslist because she doesn't find my journal interesting. You can say alot of things about me, quite a few of them negative I'm sure, but I always thought I was interesting. Ah well. Her loss, neh? :)
Great Britian: Birthplace of Cheese Racing. Oh, how I love this country. *laughs*
Okay. You knew it was going to happen. I don't normally leap on the proverbial bandwagon like this, but I just can't resist.
Please do answer, and give this silly hobbit wench a happy. *grins*
I ____ Nevvie.
Nevvie is ____.
If I were alone in a room with Nevvie, I would _______.
I think Nevvie should _____.
Nevvie needs ______.
I want to ____________ Nevvie.
When I think of Nevvie, I think of _______.
Someday, I think Nevvie will ________.
It needs to be done. I have been told far too many times to count that if only I were thinner I would never have any problems getting work -- agents would be disembowelling each other at a chance to have me on their books, because I'm cute, energetic, passionate, friendly and a genuinely nice person, something which is (believe me) is a rare find in the theatre world, and of course have great singing and acting abilities. But wrap all that talent and personality in a roly poly pudding like me, and they won't even give me a second glance. It's okay to be big, as long as you're REALLY big, like Dawn French big, but medium big like me will get you nowhere, just the occasional serving wench and possibly the 'skinny lead girl's fat best friend'. Hurrah. So I really am going on a diet now. Besides, I think I will have a nervous breakdown if I have to go clothes shopping again and leave every single damn store empty handed because not a thing fits me. Fat girl clothes don’t fit because I'm too short and bulge in all the wrong places (everyone is supposed to have a specific body shape, like the Apple [big on top, thin hips and legs], Pear [big hips and thighs] and Hourglass [big everywhere, thin waist], but I'm a fucking rectangle -- thick ankles, big thighs, absolutely no definition between hips and waist, big chest -- and there is not a goddamn thing made by ANYone that can match my body shape. If I at least had some kind of curves like normal fat women, I'd be happier. It's the fact that I'm so bloody unnatural that really upsets me) and of course I can't even think of entering a 'normal' store, because they'd probably throw me out. I was thrown out of Morgan, a snottily discriminating clothes shop, once, where they don't have anything above a size 8 (that's a US 4-6) because they don't want 'fat girls wearing their clothes'. Nice, huh. Anyway. What was I saying? I have no idea. I am probably just waffling on quite a bit because I'm extremely annoyed right now. Sorry. The point I'm trying to make is, I need to go on a diet. Or at least, a 'reduced food intake regime'. Yeah, that sounds better, doesn't it. :)
I'm currently reading a book daringly entitled I, Lucifer, which, not unsurprisingly, earns me alot of strange looks reading it on the train. It's an autobiography from the Morningstar's point of view, and although I thought it was a bit pretentious at first, I'm rather enjoying it. Lucifer is portrayed as a very camp, sarcastic, charming and utterly British protagonist (antagonist? Hard to say really), which makes it quite difficult not to think of Crowley when reading him, but of course I like Crowley a lot more, mostly because although he's a daemon, he's a nice guy really. Lucifer, however, is not. I would probably recommend this book to anyone who likes Good Omens, but you should be warned that the language is exceedingly filthy at times, although the writer (or should I say, Lucifer) has the most marvellous gift for hyperbole, and the descriptions of the every day world as seen through the senses of an Angel are remarkably beautiful.
I'm a little bit sad that an LJ friend has taken me off her friendslist because she doesn't find my journal interesting. You can say alot of things about me, quite a few of them negative I'm sure, but I always thought I was interesting. Ah well. Her loss, neh? :)
Great Britian: Birthplace of Cheese Racing. Oh, how I love this country. *laughs*
Okay. You knew it was going to happen. I don't normally leap on the proverbial bandwagon like this, but I just can't resist.
Please do answer, and give this silly hobbit wench a happy. *grins*
I ____ Nevvie.
Nevvie is ____.
If I were alone in a room with Nevvie, I would _______.
I think Nevvie should _____.
Nevvie needs ______.
I want to ____________ Nevvie.
When I think of Nevvie, I think of _______.
Someday, I think Nevvie will ________.
you didn't ask but...
Date: 2003-03-05 06:30 pm (UTC)if you don't mind my advice...if you really decide to do it,don't 'go on a diet'. instead,change your habits.eating too little soon results in retaining weight.
about twelve years ago, i was on the heavy side. i was having digestive problems and i didnt want to take drugs or have stupid g.i. tests. so i changed my diet and eventually lost somewhere in the neighborhood of 80 or so lbs. in the course of year. i'm still pretty much at the same weight now because i changed how i ate. what worked for me was to cut down on fat grams (though you shouldn't cut all fat out of your diet...you NEED some. for a while i counted fat grams and tried to keep it around 44 per day. eventually i didn't have to count anymore because my body KNEW what was too high in fat. i have to not go too crazy on total calories either...which basically means total amount of food. i DO have a problem with eating sugar,which occasionally increases my weight a bit and then i usually cut back a bit on the sugar eating and it goes pretty much back to where it was. i dont' step on a scale very often...i go by how my clothes fit.
so there it is...my unsolicited advice.just thought i'd pass it along as i was fortunate to have it work for me.
but whatever you decide,in the immortal words of mr. rogers "i like you just the way you are".
Re: you didn't ask but...
Date: 2003-03-06 02:53 pm (UTC)You lost 80 pounds? Wow. Congratulations. :)
I have major digestive problems, which is part of the reason I'm such a blob -- I don't really even eat that much, but my body refuses to get rid of it. I'm not going on a real 'diet', because I know they don't work, I'm just eating less carbohydrates and, well, less of everything. So hopefully there will be some change soon. :)