(no subject)

[neverwhere]

As I look out my window I can see that it is another gorgeous day at the beach. So why the hell am I inside wasting my life online? Oh wait, I have no life. That would be why. *chuckles* (Anyone have a spare life I can borrow?)

The One Party tickets go on sale tomorrow. Ohgodohgodohgod I really, desperately want to go, and now that I'm in L.A there's nothing to stop me, right? Nothing except the $125 I need to purchase a ticket. WHINGE! I've been dreaming about going for 2 years, how can I not go? Is anyone else here going? I know trianne wants to, but doesn't know yet if she can. I want to attend so badly, but I suppose if I don't know anyone there wouldn't be much point. I don't mingle and make friends easily (or at all) in social gatherings, so I may just end up feeling sorry for myself that I couldn't manage to have a good time even at such a momentous occasion. Yeah, I'm stupid that way.
I just don't know what to do.


On a more pleasant note -- thanks to the generosity of swankyfunk, I have a ticket to see Graham Norton this weekend! Woooohoooo! Aaaaaaand I'm allowed to bring a guest. Anyone in the L.A/O.C area like Graham and want to come to Hollywood with me on sunday? I adore Graham Norton, even though I know someone who shagged him in a Disco and said it was just 'okay'. *snort* ;-)


I don't think I've squeed yet about my TT:EE dvd, so here it is, short and sweet: OMGILOVEFLOATSAMANDJETSOMANDWHEEEEMOREELVISHANDMORELOTRGOODNESSHURRAH!

And I'm spent.

Comments

[meretia]

That was sort of the same train of thought I had when I thought that I wasn't going to get to see Andy Serkis in Chicago. "Oh... well, I'll go to the One Party instead. It's--ye gods! How much? Ech, I don't know anyone there anyway. And wait a minute, I hate parties, so why do I even want to go?"

But really, I have to agree with Ashfae. You're selling yourself short. You don't need to worry about trying to be cool or impress anyone. I think I can reasonably assume that you don't do that in your own journal, and look at all the people who think that you're so special. To be completely honest, it bugs me a little to hear you undervaluing yourself so much. You're not a failure, or stupid, or a worthless person, or anything like that. The people who say things like that are the ones who benefit from tearing you down and making you doubt yourself. Don't listen to them. Don't believe them. I really, truly, believe that if you went out and met some people and just behaved naturally, they'd like you just as much as all of us do here. You're a lovely, loving, and lovable person. The only reason you wouldn't have charisma is if you kept it in because you didn't think you had it. Honestly, the words that are on the tip of my tongue to describe you are things like "cool" and "sparkly" and "sweet." Those aren't things I associate with someone who isn't appealing.

And you needn't punish yourself for not being perfect. If it seems like a nice day to go to the beach, and you want to go to the beach, then go to the beach. Even if you don't meet anyone there or find anybody to go with, you'd have had the sun and the surf and all to enjoy. You don't have to sit inside online all day unless you really want to.

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

I actually love the beach, I just don't enjoy going (you're not going to approve of this ;-) because I'm afraid of what people will say when they see a fat seacow on the sand. *hides*
Actually, I don't go out very much at all because I'm afraid of what people might say. I know I'm overreacting, but it's not without reason -- even recently I've been ridiculed just for walking down the street. So I'm not completely irrational. Just a little bit. :)

I'm mostly myself at work, and they all think I'm a bumbling weirdo. *G* (But then, the people I work with are all 6-7 years younger than me (bloody teenagers!), so what do they know. ;-)

I know it seems like I'm undervalueing myself, and perhaps I am (okay okay, I know I am), it's just so difficult to take the ego-gratifying friendship I have online and translate it into self-esteem in the cruel 'real' world. I know I'm fun and appealing, and have so much to offer if only people would notice, but the problem is they never notice. I try not to let it get me down, but sometimes I just can't. Honestly, if I didn't have my online friends, I'd be depressed beyond measure. Thank god for you. :)

...Are you sure you can't come to The One Party? *grins*

[meretia]

Oh, honey. You're not a fat seacow. ::hugs:: But if I told you to just ignore them, I'd be being a huge hypocrite since I won't wear a bathing suit in public.

Teenagers think everyone is a bumbling idiot. It's why I still hate them even though I graduated high school six years ago. Don't let them get you down.


...Are you sure you can't come to The One Party? *grins*

Right, so you're buying my ticket, then? ; )

But I was thinking earlier today. I don't have any of my plans set in stone as to the Andy Serkis signing I'm trying to get to. The last stop on his tour is Pasadena--which I don't think is all that far from you, but everything south of Monterey ends up as one big blob labeled "southern California" on my mental map. If you like, I can come out there instead of going to Chicago, and we can go meet Andy together.

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

You'd come all the way to Pasadena? OF COURSE I WILL MEET ANDY WITH YOU!

How could I possibly not? :D

[meretia]

Well, of course I would. You need cheering up. And if I can't give you that, at least I can give you some company.

It's really not a big deal. Dad already said they'd send me somewhere, and California actually works better with my schedule. The signing is at Vroman's on 16 January at 4:00 in the afternoon. I don't have any Friday classes and was starting to get paranoid about missing three days of classes without seeing any of the syllabi. I had myself half-convinced that I'd book a flight and a hotel for Chicago, and then go back to school and find out that I had a class with an attendance policy like the one for children's lit, where we flunked the class if we were absent three times. I'm at this stage in school where I've completely stopped caring about it, but I'm scared to death of failing a class. Weird, that.

Besides: Southern California or Lake Michigan in the middle of January? Hmm, such a tough choice.