(no subject)

[neverwhere]

Thank you so much for your concern and well wishes. I can't believe how many of you replied to my entry, I'm truly stunned by the reaction it received. I really have made some amazing friends. I hope you all realize how much I value your friendship. Because I really do. :)

Please forgive me for not replying last night, I went to bed early and was too emotionally drained for a response. So here's the deal -- I'm not going because I want to. There are many reasons why I am being forced to go, but basically it's because I have no money and my father has promised to help me get back on my feet, but only if it is under his careful supervision, which means I have to leave. He never wanted me to become an actor, he hates me living here (where he can't CONTROL me) and even wants me to train for a 'proper' degree this time, preferably at a 'decent' school (let's not even mention how much he loathed Sarah Lawrence) so he can finally be proud of me. And did I mention that he wants to stick me in 'intense' therapy to sort out all of my emotional problems (most of which he caused)? Whoopee.

So I'm going. And not looking forward to it at all. But, my father has promised to bribe me make my stay more pleasant and (hopefully) enjoyable by giving me lots and lots of stuff. My father is quite well off, but has never actually given me anything like this, so it's rather shocking. But he has promised a nice flat, a car, a computer, dvd player...just about anything to bribe me into staying and shutting up about how miserable I am make me happy. Which will be nice. It will be good not to constantly stress about money, because god knows I've done enough of that lately. I don't know what I'm going to do when I'm there -- I suppose I'll get a job in a bookshop, which I've done before and enjoyed, but apart from that (and going to the gym of course -- I have got to lose weight) I really have no clue. I'd like to keep acting of course...but I seriously doubt that will be a possibility. Oh well.

I know I shouldn't complain. Most people would love to be in my position. But it's just so unfair -- I was finally starting to have a good life, I actually made some fantastic friends that I could spend time with and who cared about me, and even more that I haven't met yet or got to know very well but would dearly love to, and now I'm going thousands of miles away, where I don't know ANYone except a few relatives whom I would really rather not have to see. I don't want to be alone.

I don't want to leave.

I just have to keep telling myself, 'it's only for a little while'. I hope it's true.


In other news: Today I had a fascinating conversation with a woman who is about to begin making a film that will be shown at next year's Cannes Film Festival. It's called Strings, and it's a dark, elegant, poignant and incredibly beautiful story about the lives of marionettes. If anyone has seen Being John Malkovitch, they'll know what I'm talking about. It sounds like a brilliant film, and I can't wait to see it.


Oh, and GIP -- because people don't use book quotes nearly enough. Pippin really is a most sensible Hobbit. :)

Comments

[avariel-wings.livejournal.com]

We can meet up before you go, if you have time, and if you want. I can easily make into London any day this week (except Thursday). Or failing that, I'll be sure to let you know if I make it to LA.

*hugs* Be strong.

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

Thursday is my only free day! *whinge*

Arse.

I don't suppose you want to come to Milton Keynes and meet Billy? :)

[avariel-wings.livejournal.com]

Milton Keynes is just a tad far. *thinks* Thursday might still be possible, but only the afternoon. I have to be in Brighton until at least 11.30, and I need to visit the library after that, so I might not get away until 2.00 (and then I'd have to go home quickly to dump the Heavy Bookbag of Doom, which involves a trip from Croydon out to the suburbs, and there's only two trains an hour. I know, it sucks). So I probably wouldn't make it into town until at least 4.00, maybe 5. But there's always Thursday night?

[avariel-wings.livejournal.com]

*still thinking aloud*

Or... I could leave the Heavy Bookbag of Doom in my locker on campus when I'm done at the library, and then go straight to London from there. I can always go back down to Brighton on Friday (or whenever) to get it so I can write the middle part of my killer dissertation. If necessary, I can do the Freud and Gaiman bits with the books I've already got.

Thursday may indeed be possible, and not even in the evening. When are you free?

[avariel-wings.livejournal.com]

Ack! My mother has just pointed out that this Thursday is, in fact, May Day. Possibly not the best time to be in Central London. Anywhere else you want to go for the afternoon/evening?

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

Crikey, so it is! And I was planning on going to see a play too...

Hmmmm. Where else could we go? I have no idea. I really should try and make your trip worthwhile, especially since you're coming all the way from Brighton. *ponders*

Re:

[avariel-wings.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm. Where else could we go? I have no idea. I really should try and make your trip worthwhile, especially since you're coming all the way from Brighton. *ponders*

Not exactly. I live in the suburbs of London with my parents and sister, but I study in Brighton. I have to be there Thursday morning for a horribly early seminar that I can't really afford to miss, but I'd be coming back to London after that anyway. So it's really not a problem. :D

[storme]

*waves hand in air frantically*

If you two do decide to meet up in London on Thursday, I'd love to come along so I can hug the Nevvieling goodbye before she leaves us. But central london will be *nasty*.

[avariel-wings.livejournal.com]

On reflection... Billeh... is it a convention? Would I have had to buy a ticket, like, months ago? And if not, when are you going?

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

http://www.showmastersonline.com/collectormania.html

It's free to get in, you just pay for the autographs. It's not a con, just a big dealers show with amazing guests. I wish it were a con, so we could have discos and costume parties and everything. But hey, it's free! :D

[avariel-wings.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh... I wish I could go. But sadly, I don't think I can afford train tickets and hotel bills for the whole weekend. Plus, my mother would have a fit if I announced I was taking a whole four days off my dissertations to go to Milton Keynes. Don't suppose you know anyone with a spare room, do you?

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

Sorry, forgot to say -- I'm going friday afternoon, staying the night with trianne and hjartad, and going home saturday evening. Wheee!

[avariel-wings.livejournal.com]

Your story's done. The more I think about it, the more I really, really want to go to Collectormania, especially since Milton Keynes isn't as far away as I thought. Do I get to meet Billy and the others even if I don't go to the movie screening?

Re:

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

Yes!

He'll be there saturday, sunday and monday, and anyone can see him -- but if you want an autograph, it'll probably be about 15 quid. Which, considering that most autograph sellers usually list him as at least £60, is a damn fine deal. *grins*

Re:

[avariel-wings.livejournal.com]

OK! Um... I'll definitely be able to get a train ticket, and I'll try to reserve a hotel for Friday (and maybe Saturday) night - unless (*feels cheeky for asking*) you know someone who has a spare bed?

It's probably too late to organise meeting up today, but where and when do you want to meet at Collectormania, if I can go?

Re:

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

I think I'm sleeping on the floor in my friend's hotel room, but I'm not sure -- I really should call her and find out what the sleeping arragements are. I don't know if she has spare floor/beds because there'll be about 10 of us (I think) so it's already very crowded. I could ask though. :)

I suppose the best place to meet up is in the event itself, which is located in the middle section of the MK shopping centre. Maybe by the coffee house? I think it's a Costa. Hmm...

Re:

[avariel-wings.livejournal.com]

If you could ask, it would be great, just on the off-chance. Don't worry if the answer's no, though, I'm sure I can sort something out.

I don't know Milton Keynes at all, so I'm counting on you to choose an easy-to-find place to meet. The coffee shop sounds fine, if it's large and obvious.

What time are you travelling back on Saturday? I might just stay another night, so I'll have somewhere to leave my stuff instead of carting it around the event with me...

Re:

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

I don't know what time I'm leaving, sometime around 6-7pm I imagine. I'm sorry I'm not more help, but my schedule isn't planned out at all.

Re:

[avariel-wings.livejournal.com]

I'm only staying the one night after all - I'll just leave my suitcase at the hotel and go back for it after. Maybe we could travel back together, if you don't mind? Or are you already travelling with people?

[avariel-wings.livejournal.com]

Oh, and since you're on-line, do you want to meet up today after all? I'm free as of now, and it should only take me an hour or so to get into London...

Or maybe at the airport, if you're not leaving at some unholy hour of the morning? We could have coffee before your flight...

[avariel-wings.livejournal.com]

What time would you want to meet up on the Saturday?

Re:

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

Gah, I don't know!

Uhmm...maybe around 1pm? I honestly have no idea what the schedule will be like. Meep. :(

Re:

[avariel-wings.livejournal.com]

Well, from reading the website, it sounds like Billy will be there all day. So 1pm should be fine, and would give me a chance to get to know the layout. Shall we say 1pm at the coffee shop place you mentioned before?