'Not all tears are an evil'...but this is getting ridiculous

[neverwhere]

I have just been listening to the Return of the King soundtrack, and could not refrain from feeling choked up the entire time. And the tears started flowing in the middle of Return of the King, and didn't stop until the end of Into the West. What the hell is wrong with me??
I can't even read the lyrics of Into the West without getting a knot in my stomach. This has got to stop.


I'm worried that although ROTK is now my favourite film ever, I will never be able to properly enjoy it without being so overwhelmed by my emotions I feel numb afterwards. I'm also rather worried that this whole crying thing is detrimental to my emotional well being. I know there are lots of reasons for why I am still so affected by ROTK: I'm incredibly unhappy with my life at the moment, and I feel such a connection to the story and characters that I am both uplifted by them and encouraged to persevere against all odds, but also plagued with self-doubt, for I fear I shall never be able to accomplish even the smallest task, nor ever have such endearing, powerful friendships to help me through my struggles. It is also Journey's End -- my life has for so long (or so it seems) revolved around these stories, I don't know what I will do now that the experience will be over. I don't want to say goodbye. I'm getting choked up even as I type, thinking of Frodo sailing into the West, and what that means for both his friends and for me.

I also think I am WAY too sensitive, and affected by fictional things. I know this to be true, and it has always been true, but it hasn't stopped me feeling this way. I think this is quite possibly the most extreme it's ever been though. And most embarrassing. *sigh*


You're all probably worrying about my sanity now. Well, join the club. :)

Comments

[madri.livejournal.com]

dude. i know how you feel. one of my favorite books, the first time i read it, i couldn't sleep that night, and i was depressed for like, a week afterwards, and so i have a hard time rereading it, even though i ♥ it.

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

I just hope I stop feeling so numb -- like there's so much emotion inside, you just can feel anything anymore. It was wonderful the first time, because there was so much to take in and experience, but it's been a MONTH already, and I would just like to just feel normal, thank you very much. *G*

[winterswitchery.livejournal.com]

"I don't know what I will do now that the experience will be over. I don't want to say goodbye."

That is precisely how I felt in the days leading up to the Return of the King release. And I still feel that ..loss. That..sense of anticipation and joy is dimmed with the knowledge that "it's over".

But remember, Nevvieluv. Frodo left the end of the book for Sam to write. And the road goes ever on.

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

'The road goes on forever, but I can't without a rest'. God bless you, Pippin. :)

And I know that there are no Happy Endings, because nothing ends. Whether you believe that we are still a part of the world of Arda and our stories are just a continuation of those in the Tale of Years, or you just want to read the books over and over, this story will never end.

don't worry

[threerings.livejournal.com]

I preface this with: I'm drunk.
So, I felt that way after I saw ROTK the 2nd time. Drained, exhausted, depressed, so transformed and taken away that I couldn't come back. Of course the third time I saw it I was so distracted by the horrible audience, the movie stopping in the middle, the lights coming on in the theater and the sound being WAY too loud that I was just kinda pissed. So if you have a really bad experince it may free you from the emotions. And I'm not at all worried about your sanity. Trust me, I know about the attachment to fictional stuff. For fuck's sake I couldn't watch FOTR without crying for a while. (see icon) And you don't have to say goodbye. My life feels like it's been wrapped up with LOTR since I was 11 and read it. It doesn't go away. It doesnt have to end. Ok, I stop typing now. Big HUGS to Nevvie!

This is not exactly how I would have prefered we get re-aquainted. ;-)

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

I saw FOTR 34 times in the cinema and managed to cry when Gandalf fell and/or when Sam follows Frodo into the water for at least 3/4 of those viewings. Eeeep. *giggles sheepishly*

I saw that you're drunk because of The Shrub. I have been studiously avoiding all such contact with him. ;-)

*SQUISH*

[myf.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I can't completely empathise, because I'm not a LOTR nut like you, but I know what it's like to get intensely caught up in fiction. Look on it as a blessing, there are people out there who can't get anything emotionally meaningful from books, and so they're the ones I feel sorry for.

*huggles* Feel better, Neffie, darling.

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

>there are people out there who can't get anything emotionally meaningful from books

I know, and I despair for them. I can't even begin to imagine life without my books, who have been my constant companions though every stage of my life. When I was friendless and alone, all I had to do was turn a page and my friends would appear to entertain and comfort me. It's why I'm so affected by fictional characters, whether in a book or on the screen, because I've been lonely for so much of my life, and I knew I could always turn to them for solace and love.

[sunnysky.livejournal.com]

aw babe, its alright. it took me until my like tenth viewing of Ever After to not cry, and c'mon, its cinderella.

^^

*cuddlehugs*

[mrs-puppethead.livejournal.com]

It feels like the end of an era, doesn't it? My mother played my RotK soundtrack in the car yesterday and I had to keep my face at an angle because I could not stop the tears. It really does hurt.

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

It hurts terribly.

I really hope the feeling of pain and loss will subside soon, so I can just enjoy the experience like I'm supposed to.

*squeeeeze*

[silverowlwings.livejournal.com]

I hear ye. I read the books right after a bad time in my life, so I immediately latched onto Frodo. I think it was because he got pulled away from home just like I did, even though we both realized it was for the best. I began to look at things like, "Hey, this isn't so bad...things could be a lot worse. This new place isn't Mordor, after all..." and I sort of thank Frodo for that. He helped put things in perspective for me, in a small way. I'm deeply attached to the story and characters, partly because of that.

Strange logic of an odd teenager, I know. *grin*

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

It's not odd at all.

There is so much in the book to be inspired by, and gain hope from, I can't imagine anyone who reads it not to feel at least a little uplifted by the courage and determination of the characters when faced with such insurmountable challenges. I know Pippin inspires me. :)

[eyre-lasgalen.livejournal.com]

I'd love to say that there's nothing wrong with you, because I feel exactly the same way, but we have to face up to the fact that there probably is something wrong with us.

I think it's partly being overly emotional. I'm an extremely emotional person, as I know you are too. The highs are VERY high, and the lows are VERY low. It's like most people live life on a scale of 1 to 10 and people like us live life on a scale of 1 to 100. My old roomie actually suspected that I might be bipolar, my moods were so excessively swingy back then.

I know it's not right, but I can't help it either. Most fans say they cried, yes, but I wonder if anyone else has ever sobbed aloud, and shaken violently with tears....has anyone else felt physically ill? I don't know.

It's not really over, either. Sure LotR won't be made into a movie again, but there are still so many other stories. There is all the lore. I know it's not the same. I wish there was some director out there dedicated enough to the mythology to make movies of all the other amazing and beutiful stories. The creation of Arda, the awakening of Elves, the story of Luthien and Beren, the Quenta Silmarillion, Gil-Galad, the Numenoreans...all of the amazing people and places and stories comprising thousands of years that I have nearly deluded myself into believe they actually existed.

I know I'm not right in the head, but I'm not hurting anyone besides myself, so who the fuck cares how fucked up I am?

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

>I wonder if anyone else has ever sobbed aloud, and shaken violently with tears

*raises hand* I have. Rhiannon was witness to my extreme sobbing, shaking, and near inability to move for 15 minutes after the end of the film. And that was just the first time. Just talking about it can set me off -- I was discussing Sam's devotion with my mum, and I had to stop because I started sobbing violently. And not because I'm sad, but because it makes me so supremely happy. Just knowing such sacrafice and love is possible gives me so much joy.

Gods, wouldn't a film of Beren and Luthien be breathtaking? I think I will have truly died and gone to heaven if that ever happens.


>I know I'm not right in the head, but I'm not hurting anyone besides myself, so who the fuck cares how fucked up I am?

AMEN to that. You always understand perfectly what I feel. Because I know you feel it too. *squeeeezes you tight*

[threerings.livejournal.com]

On a slightly serious note. To anyone who feels like there is something wrong with them for being deeply affected by things, I would highly recommned Elaine Aron's book "The Highly Sensitive Person." She's a psychologist who's done a bunch of research on people she calls Highly sensitive people or HSP's. Turns out it's about 15-20% of the population and the sensitivity extends to everything inclucing physical and neurological reactions. Interesting stuff and helpful not to feel like a complete freak.
Hugs from a HSP.

[leiabelle.livejournal.com]

It is also Journey's End -- my life has for so long (or so it seems) revolved around these stories, I don't know what I will do now that the experience will be over. I don't want to say goodbye. I'm getting choked up even as I type, thinking of Frodo sailing into the West, and what that means for both his friends and for me.

Oh man, I'm so with you here. First time I read the book, at 11 years old, I cried because there wasn't any more. I must admit that I didn't care for PJ's depiction of the ending, but so much else of the movie, as well as the story itself, hit me very hard. I sobbed my way through the first viewing of RotK and cried a lot at the second. Curiously enough it's the battle scenes that really bring on the tears. The Rohirrim screaming "DEATH!" gives me the chills, as does Faramir's doomed attack on Osgiliath contrasted with Pippin singing. Am waiting for the Extended to come out before I see it again because I'm desperate for the Eowyn/Faramir and it makes me sad that it was left out, but my heart aches every time I read the end of the book. Into the West makes me want to curl up into a little hobbity ball and weep. It's hopeful... but not. :'(

*huggles muchly*

I know that whatever you do, it will be great and wonderful. Your Road is still going on. (Don't tempt me to post the lyrics to that song!) :D

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

>The Rohirrim screaming "DEATH!" gives me the chills, as does Faramir's doomed attack on Osgiliath contrasted with Pippin singing.

Me too. I can't imagine how anyone can not be deeply moved by the sacrafice of the Rohan and Gondorian soldiers, when they know there is no hope, yet never turn away from their doom...*long admiring sigh*
And Pippin's song...oh gods, it just leaves me breathless. The futile battle for a father's love, the bittersweet threnody...it's just perfect.

...

Behind me the television is on, and some one is singing on Jay Leno about 'an American soldier', and all I can think is that this pseduo-patrotic drivel can not even begin to compare in scope and meaning to The Steward of Gondor, and the courage of the outnumbered army of Men.

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I've seen ROTK four times (so far) in the theater, and I cry each time! Not as much as the first time, but there are certain scenes that I am still crying at and just as hard as I did the first time....Faramir's ride to Osgiliath, and "My friends, you bow to no one."

In fact, the fourth time I saw the movie, when Aragorn told the hobbits that they bow to no one, I was crying so hard that I was SOBBING loudly and I was SHAKING and everyone TURNED AROUND and looked at me. It was quite embarrassing.

And just yesterday, I was listening to "Into the West" in my car, and playing it over and over, and singing along. And every single time I would get to the chorus, my voice would break and I would totally start crying my eyes out. I really wanted to sing but I couldn't sing. I was crying too hard.

Let's form a support group.

I like your icon better than mine :)

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

>Faramir's ride to Osgiliath, and "My friends, you bow to no one."

OHMYGODSYES. *sniffle*

>I was crying so hard that I was SOBBING loudly and I was SHAKING and everyone TURNED AROUND and looked at me. It was quite embarrassing

That happened to me the first time -- I had been trying to hold it in for so long that by the time of the Coronation I couldn't take it any more and it all came out in loud, rasping sobs that didn't falter until the credits rolled. And not even then, really. The second time I snuffled and shook, but didn't break down into noisy sobs. At least, not until I got in the car to go home.
I think I've started shaking and sobbing at least 5 times when I've tried to talk about it with people. It's all just so wonderful.

>I really wanted to sing but I couldn't sing. I was crying too hard.

Me too. *squeezes your hand*

>Let's form a support group.

If there isn't one already, there will be now. :)

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

> I had been trying to hold it in for so long that by the time of the Coronation I couldn't take it any more and it all came out in loud, rasping sobs


I should clarify that I had been crying nearly since the beginning of the film ('We'll see each other again soon, won't we Merry?' *SOB*), but had been trying (and occasionally failing) to keep myself from being so loud the entire cinema would hear my anguish.

I don't know why I felt the need to have this addendum, actually. *giggles sheepishly*

[bygonepie]

There are certain movies and books that I simply cannot watch/read due to my personal life too heavily influencing my direct reaction to the story. For instance, I almost fainted in "Legends of the Fall" when the girl shoots herself towards the end of the movie becuz a few months earlier, my aunt had shot herself to death. I couldn't handle it. Anywho, I KNOW that this is not the same thing. But a personal connection w/ a story can do this to you. I think that perhaps just getting it out of your system might help?

Just to let you know... I cry nearly EVERY SINGLE TIME I hear "Bad" by U2. It just gets me. And I've been listening to it since I was 14. So there you go. We've all got our things. :)
(Just forget about hearing that song live! *swoon*)

[queeniefox.livejournal.com]

Into the West is very hard for me to listen to because it does upset me quite a lot. But it sort of upsets me in a good way - not the way I would feel if anything really horrible happened - it makes me feel hopeful as well as sad.

I've only seen RoTK twice so far. The first time I was in a terrible state. I sobbed with my hands over my face all the way through the credits. I think people probably thought I was a bit strage but I didn't care. The second time I saw it I didn't cry as much because my dad was there and my parents think I get too emotional about things. I was fairly alright at the end until the drawing of Sam came up in the credits and then I busrt into tears again!

Like I said, my parents think I'm too emotional. They always say the things I love or get upset about don't really matter - but they've yet to tell me what does actually matter in their view.

If you think you're bad with LoTR, when I first saw Lawrence of Arabia I was ill for three days afterwards!

[trukkle.livejournal.com]

*hugs tight*
Everyone has a different way of showing and releasing their feelings, if the films and music are what do it for you then there's nothing wrong with you at all, silly :)
*nuzz*

Nevvie

[thecheekymonkey.livejournal.com]

*walks in, late as usual*

You know I owe LOTR to you. I would never have read the books without your encouragement. I'm so grateful for this gift.

Imagine seeing the film with three friends who've not read the books, and don't understand all the symbolism and the emotion which the end of this film provokes.

I understand totally what you mean about the journey being over. It changes us, but also it leaves us longing for more. The world of Middle Earth is so perfect - who wouldn't want to study its ins and outs forever. I think the real power of this fiction (to an extent missing in HP) is its cohesiveness. Everything can be understood and linked.

Yeah, so I just wanted to say thank you, and that I understand. <3

[angelislington.livejournal.com]

*squeezes tight*

I'm so happy I could give you such a marvelous gift. :)