(no subject)
Jan. 2nd, 2004 04:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
neverwhereLast year, I was standing above the Thames, facing the Houses of Parliament, and cheered with thousands of other people as Big Ben rang in the start of the new year.
This year, I sat on my bed (the only other piece of furniture in my miserably untidy flat apart from the computer desk), holding a bottle of root beer and watching other people having fun on t.v, and when the big ball dropped in Times Square to signal the start of 2004...I just sat there, sobbing pathetically.
That's how I greeted the new year. As a pathetic, lonely failure.
Please don't let me end the year the same way.
This year, I sat on my bed (the only other piece of furniture in my miserably untidy flat apart from the computer desk), holding a bottle of root beer and watching other people having fun on t.v, and when the big ball dropped in Times Square to signal the start of 2004...I just sat there, sobbing pathetically.
That's how I greeted the new year. As a pathetic, lonely failure.
Please don't let me end the year the same way.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 05:39 pm (UTC)Isn't that the boy from Boy meets World?
The best friend or brother or something of the cute guy who voices the even cuter Ron Stoppable in Kim Possible? :)
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Date: 2004-01-02 04:45 pm (UTC)You know what I've noticed? The years that I had a great time on New Years turned out to be pretty damn shitty.
But the ones I spent either alone or with a friend or two, low-key, quiet affairs - those have led to the best years.
It's like, if you get the crappy part over with on the first day, the rest of the year has no where to go but up.
:)
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Date: 2004-01-02 05:30 pm (UTC)*chuckles*
I certainly hope you're right. And I shall continue to think you are, unless proven otherwise. Which hopefully I won't. So yes, screw you crappy new year! *kicks in the unmentionables*
(no subject)
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Date: 2004-01-02 04:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 05:26 pm (UTC)I'm sorry you had to be introduced to me this way. I'm not normally so unhappy, mostly I'm very cheerful and full of bouncey glee.
I just really hate where I am (both physically and mentally) at the moment, so I am having occasional days of meloncoly...Thankfully, they don't last. At least, usually they don't.
I definitely want to make a fresh start this year. It has to get better than this.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 04:58 pm (UTC)Did you see my Christmas message for you? *misses you*
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Date: 2004-01-02 05:22 pm (UTC)*hugs tenderly*
Of course Chris. I miss you too. You never seem to be around anymore. But I'm actually glad you're not, because it means you're out and about, and doing things to make you happy. :)
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Date: 2004-01-02 05:05 pm (UTC)Also - loser isn't a fixed thing. It's a state of mind, which means it's whatever you think it is. There'll be something out there that you can take pride in, and once you've got that, you'll realise you were never a loser at all. :)
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Date: 2004-01-02 05:15 pm (UTC)I wish I did have a 'get the hell out now' mentality, but unfortuntely I am very stagnant and tend to wallow in my own self created misery.
If only I had a decent job, so I could save up and get the money I need to move back to England...working twice a week (if I'm lucky) at a video shop certainly isn't going to do that for me. Arrgghh.
There'll be something out there that you can take pride in, and once you've got that, you'll realise you were never a loser at all. :)
*smiles adoringly and hugs you tight*
That's such a wonderful sentiment, thank you. I shall endevour to find something to make me happy. Honestly, I will. :)
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:Eh. I bet you have a thousand comments on your journal saying this-
Date: 2004-01-02 05:06 pm (UTC)I wish I had been there with you. I would've made you laugh and shit, and would've sang "auld lang zide" or some shit. <3
love you.
Only five dearest :)
Date: 2004-01-02 05:09 pm (UTC)I needed a good laugh. Wish you could have been here too.
Or rather, that we both were somewhere fun and exciting, and NOT here. *squeeze*
:)
From:no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 05:19 pm (UTC)Ditto the above posts.
Please don't let me end the year the same way.
You won't!
I'm sending you some hobbits.
Knot the coonkies, neither.
--
Banazir
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Date: 2004-01-02 06:23 pm (UTC)*smooches the penguin*
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Date: 2004-01-02 05:21 pm (UTC)Well, I watch people on TV have fun every year on New Year's Eve. But hopefully that will change this year...;)
You're not pathetic and you're not a failure. You are a wonderful, lovely person. Look at how many friends you have! *g* When I think of you I think...bounciness and happiness and fun! Your life is soooo interesting to me. *g*
*big hugs*
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Date: 2004-01-02 06:20 pm (UTC)I'm glad someone finds it interesting. ;-) *hugs*
And I'm pleased you think of me as bouncey and fun. That's how I always want to be, and it frustrates me terribly when I'm not.
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Date: 2004-01-02 05:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 05:55 pm (UTC)*squeezes back*
Thank you. :)
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Date: 2004-01-02 05:33 pm (UTC)New year's celebrations were a quick "Happy new year" between dice-rolls down here :) though the geekyness was sort-of the celebrations.
I want to reassure you, but can't think of anything I havn't said a million times allready. You're brilliant. This year get out there, knock some heads together and don't be afraid to be who you really are inside. We all know how great that person is *squeeze*
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Date: 2004-01-02 05:50 pm (UTC)Sometimes I'm afraid I don't know how to be that person inside. She's hiding under so much pain and neuroses and fear, I don't know how to make myself do the things I know I want (and should) do.
Just being here is reassuring, I promise. *cuddles and kisses your cheek*
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 05:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 06:17 pm (UTC)New Years are overrated. What's so great about the tradition of getting blind drunk for no other reason than to go 'woooooo' as your clock turns from 11.59 to 12.00?
There should be some sort of protest group we can all join...*G*
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 06:03 pm (UTC)And loser? Naw, not my Nevvie.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 06:07 pm (UTC)*pouncecuddleglomp*
I hope your Seeing Stone hasn't been corrupted by the Enemy, and your prediction is indeed a true one. ;-)
Of course, knowing me, I shall be exceedingly happy the few minutes I am with you, and wallowing in selfpity when your other friends whisk you away. :-P
no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 06:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 11:25 pm (UTC)Your icon is adorable. Did you draw it?
*points to her own icon* I shall expect your shoe to arrive in the post shortly. ;-)
*squeeeeeeezesmooch*
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 06:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 11:35 pm (UTC)*squeezes back and smiles happily*
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Date: 2004-01-02 08:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 11:23 pm (UTC)For some reason, when I'm really depressed I avoid being online, which makes no sense at all, as all my friends are online and they would cheer me up a helluva lot faster than moping in front of the telly. I'm so weird sometimes.
Did I send you the photo of Billy yet? I can't remember if I did, because I don't know if I have your email address or not.
*squishes*
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Date: 2004-01-02 09:40 pm (UTC)I know we just met, but I really do think that you're a funny and lovely person, and not a pathetic failure at all. I'm sorry you're lonely - because you seem really neat and if you were in New York, I'd be all "Hey, let's hang out!" and stuff.
I even sent you an Adrien to play with so you can feel better! ;D (send him home when you're done...)
My Adrien! :-P
Date: 2004-01-02 11:20 pm (UTC)*huuuuuuuugs*
Thank you :) I am rather wonderful really, aren't I. *G*
I wish I was in New York too! I haven't been back in almost 4 years, I can't believe it's been so long. I miss Zabar's and The Strand bookshop and the amazingly cheap yet so delicious sushi bar in SoHo...Ahhh, those were good times. *reminices fondly*
fight you for him!
From:Re: fight you for him!
From:Re: fight you for him!
From:no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 10:11 pm (UTC)For god's sake, get a loan, go back to school, go back to the UK and live as a street mime, anything to get you the hell out of LA!
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Date: 2004-01-02 11:16 pm (UTC)Considering I spent the greater part of my youth utterly alone, you'd think I would be able to deal with my crippling loneliness by now.
Yes. The Plan for 2004 is To Get The Hell Out of L.A. I like this plan very much. My father and therapist certainly won't, but oh well. :)
*pounceglompsmooches*
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Date: 2004-01-02 11:51 pm (UTC)I spent my new year's alone, obviously, as well. It was pretty interesting. I've been alone a lot recently; at my work, on holidays. I couldn't help that I was sick... but I've been left w/ a lot of time to think, you know? I don't know what I'm getting at, forgive me. :)
*hugs*
We should go to Mel's again, soon. :) I don't know my schedule for next week yet, but we'll see.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 12:03 am (UTC)Don't be sorry, it's not you're fault you were ill. *huuuugs*
I've just been in a miserable state recently, what with the untidyness of the flat, the ants in my kitchen that refuse to die (ARRRGGHHH), not working very much, and hating it when I do, not knowing what I want to do with my life, feeling old and useless and immobile and scared...it's all such a mess. Bah.
Whenever you've recovered, we'll go out and Do Things. :)
(no subject)
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Date: 2004-01-03 01:08 am (UTC)a. you're Nevvie! The fabulous!
and
b. you have 51 comments to your entry
indicates that you are
a. fabulous (am I repeating myself yet? *wink*)
and
b. you have loads of friends.'
So ner. There endeth the lesson.
Oh, and
HUGGS!
no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 09:13 am (UTC)most of my new years are spent sitting around with my family the same as every other night of the winter holidays, wondering vaguely what I could do to make it more exciting. so know that you aren't alone in non-splendiferous new years activities. *hug*
and dude, the amount of comments to your post should certainly help give you the bolstering you need, no? I agree with someone above who said that it's mostly a state of mind, and think that so many wonderful things are bound to happen to you in the coming year that this one night won't way you down at the end. I wish you much joy, my dear!
(no subject)
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Date: 2004-01-03 03:17 am (UTC)You are so beautiful and wonderful that, no matter how you spend New Years, you could never be anything other than splendid.
And I love you, so you can't be all bad :)
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Date: 2004-01-03 11:03 am (UTC)*blushes happily*
Why can't you be here, so I can hug you and kiss you and shower you with all the affection I can give, and you so richly deserve.
I love you too! Although I am very naughty and have not sent out your crimbo present yet. Eeek. (But you love me anyway, so hah! *giggles* :)
*somuchlove*
(no subject)
From:ALSO
From:Re: ALSO
From:no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 03:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 03:41 am (UTC)Yes we all get down so whilst being told how great you are is nice I sometimes find that it makes me worse 'cause then I feel like I don't deserve the compliments.
I'm sorry you feel in the dumps but it passes and looking at the amount of comments there seems to be an unending line of shoulders to lean on. My advise is use them.
Think of it like this - this is bad and this is as bad a it gets and the rest of the year can only get better.
Take care of yourself.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 11:20 am (UTC)I don't really feel like I'm 'surviving' -- unfortuntely, because the job I currently have sucks arse, I have to rely on my father to pay my rent, which really isn't helping me feel independent or doing my own thing. But thank you for thinking I am. :)
I am feeling much better today, thank gods, mostly because I did listen to all the wonderful comments from my even more wonderful friends, and I'm trying not to forget them as I sit here and worry about what I'm going to do with my life.
*hugs* :)
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 04:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 04:03 am (UTC)You are not remotely a failure, Coz. Nor are you pathetic in any way. And as everyone else has said, a) the quality of New Year's celebrations does not actually mean much for the rest of the year and b) if having a lousy New Year maybe strengthens your determination to change things and lead the life you want to lead, then it may even turn out to be a positive thing.
And you have many, many friends who love you. I know that you aren't near many of us, and that sucks from all our points of view, but we still are here for you and love you, and we respect you and regard you as being a particularly fabulous individual.
I miss you, Coz. I hope we can see you on the 24th.
Please don't let me end the year the same way.
You won't, I'm certain of that.
*sends enormous Brandybuck-flavoured strengthening medicine to help you*
*hugs you again*
Cousin Merry #2
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Date: 2004-01-03 11:14 am (UTC)I miss you so much!
Stupid ocean. *kicks it*
I found part of my return ticket from May, and I'm pretty sure the other unused half can still be used, so there's still a wee bit of hope I can come. I will definitely know in a few days, and you'll be the first one I tell. *smooches*
I think I'm going to try and let everyone's agreement that bad New Year's are actually good for making plans for the year you can keep sink in, because I know I don't want to spend another year in the same mental (and physical) state I've been in. Operation: Get The Hell Out Of L.A will commence soon!
*hugs and kisses* Love you :)
no subject
Date: 2004-01-03 07:01 am (UTC)*hugs*